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A Novel Console
A Novel Console
Oops… All Intro pt.4
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On this week's episode of A Novel Console, Karradyne is back to tell stories from Dragoncon, Mandela Effects, and Mary Bennet. Chris tells Karradyne stories about having a game stolen, Shazaam being a real movie, and how cool the Alien Breed 35th Anniversary Edition is.
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Hello, hello. Welcome to a Noble Console, your weekly podcast, where we talk about food games, books, uh stuff.
SPEAKER_03I don't Yeah, this is all fucked up.
SPEAKER_01I need to rewrite that and read it. My name is Chris. With me is my beautiful co-host and wife, Tina Belcher.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's not funny.
SPEAKER_01How are you today, Tina Belcher?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna try to do this in my best Tina voice. I'm no, I can't do it. You have a very bad Tina. Yeah, I can't. I can just do the the the sad, depressed tone, not the actual voice of Tina.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_03Can't do it. Can't do it. Yeah. I I came out of the shower and he started laughing at me, and I didn't understand why. And he told me to go look at myself in the mirror, and I didn't even have to. I just looked down and I realized it. I'm wearing navy blue shorts and a baby blue t-shirt. Yep, Tina Belcher.
SPEAKER_01Tina Belcher.
SPEAKER_03And I have bangs now, so Tina has bangs, right?
SPEAKER_01Tina has bangs. Yeah. She also has a bob.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't have a bob.
SPEAKER_01She has two bobs. Belcher and hair bob.
SPEAKER_03That was terrible.
SPEAKER_01Uh oh my god.
SPEAKER_03How are you doing, wife? I'm fine. How are you, husband? I'm good.
SPEAKER_01I am I have a puppy next to me. You do have a pupper next to you. Stop calling him up. He wants attention. No, he wants we can pet him down here, but not, you know.
SPEAKER_03I can boop his nose.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we can smack him around.
SPEAKER_03He's my best cuddle, buddy.
SPEAKER_01Um, it's been a while since you've been on the show. We've done, well, I've done, let me see how many episodes since the last year.
SPEAKER_03An episode by yourself.
SPEAKER_01I did a couple episodes by myself. Okay, so I did one by myself.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01Two by myself, and then one with Thrack and one with Dre.
SPEAKER_03Oh, has it really been that long?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03Since we did the Minecraft cookies?
SPEAKER_01Coffee and handhouse, I guess we is back, yo.
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_01That was in August 31st.
SPEAKER_03Oh, crap.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, and Minecraft cookies was on Patreon. Shit. I think.
SPEAKER_03How'd we do that?
SPEAKER_01If you've been trav we've been traveling.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Life is all over the damn place these days. I don't know who I am, where I am, when it is, where it is.
SPEAKER_01What it is.
SPEAKER_03What it all means.
SPEAKER_01What's good.
SPEAKER_03What's good, yo.
SPEAKER_01What's bad.
SPEAKER_03Strider says everything is good and everything is bad. He is the most philosophical of all of the pooches.
SPEAKER_01At least in this house.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, what was that?
SPEAKER_01Was that him?
SPEAKER_03That was him.
SPEAKER_01Huh, interesting.
SPEAKER_03It was a yawn.
SPEAKER_01Anyways.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, anyway.
SPEAKER_01Um, we I wanted to record this morning. Yeah. But you were like, no, my friend's coming over. She's bringing us lunch. I was like, cool. Then let's wait for her.
SPEAKER_03And then she got here at much later than we thought she was going to get here.
SPEAKER_01At like two in the afternoon?
SPEAKER_03It's okay, Kelly. We forgive you if you're listening to this.
SPEAKER_01We greatly appreciate the lunch. Then we hung out till like five.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And then you went back into your factory and like the whole day just disappeared. Even though we woke up at a decent hour.
SPEAKER_01Right? I packed a couple orders from the whatnot from last night.
SPEAKER_03And then the bubble wrap was gone.
SPEAKER_01And then the bubble wrap was gone. It's like I'll just go to town tomorrow because I gotta go do some stuff in town tomorrow, regardless. So I'll just get it tomorrow. And then I played Fire Emblem the rest of the day, and it was great. I'm enjoying Fire Emblem now.
SPEAKER_03I worked in my factory all day and binge watched the rest of the show. What show I watched last night.
SPEAKER_01What show were you watching?
SPEAKER_03I watched The Other Bennett Sister, which is based on the book by the same title by Janice Hadlow, I believe. Um, when we were in New Orleans, I think you were in the bathroom, not that that part matters. But somebody came up and was admiring my Pride and Prejudice earrings and asked me if I had read The Other Bennett Sister. And I heard about it. I knew it was either a movie or a show. Um, but she told me it was on Kindle Unlimited. Sorry, I'm tired. And uh I immediately downloaded it, started reading it about a week ago, and I well no, it'd been more than a week. Uh, but I read it fairly quickly, considering that it's a monstrously long book, and I binge the show. It was great, very, very, very good. Very true to Jane Austen's tone.
SPEAKER_01I I saw a little bit of what you were watching last night. Yes. And uh I can't tell if the main character is 17 or 65.
SPEAKER_03Bless her heart. That's the plight of Mary Bennett.
SPEAKER_01That she suffers from old lady syndrome. I mean old lady face syndrome.
SPEAKER_03Kind of. She's very plain, she's very kind of seen as unfortunate. Yeah. Poor Mary. She's like the forgotten sister. She's always there, but nobody ever pays her any attention.
SPEAKER_01So she is like the Meg Griffin of that family.
SPEAKER_03Meg gets more attention than Mary does. Shut up, Meg. Oh my god. Megatron.
SPEAKER_01Megatron.
SPEAKER_03Poor Mary. If you're a Pride and Prejudice fan, highly, highly recommend.
SPEAKER_01Okay. You've also been reading a lot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I have. I have.
SPEAKER_01What have you been reading?
SPEAKER_03I reread The Song of Achilles because I did not like it the first time I read it, and all I hear are praises. Well, I think I fucked up the first time I read it. I listened to it. Um, I didn't like the narrator, and I was reading it at work. That was when I was at the call center. Um, so I really wasn't giving it my all. Um, so I read it on my Kindle this time and devoured it, and it was amazing. And yes, I saw that you messaged me about it, Burger Champ. Have I looked at those messages yet? No. Have I forgotten about them? No. I will look because I do want to read the things you recommended based on me liking that, because I I loved it. So I went ahead and um put Cersei on hold. Cersei, is it Circe or Circe? The god.
SPEAKER_01The only Circe I know. Wait, I think it is Cersei. I think it is Cersei.
SPEAKER_03Cersei?
SPEAKER_01Okay. Because Cersei is the dude from 300. The God King or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Cool. Um, and I think that author just had a new book come out, Maestra. Maestra? Maestra. Uh I saved that on Libby too. Okay. I've been reading lots of other things, but yeah, I finished those. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, I've been playing a lot of Fire Emblem. Like Oh my god. A lot of Fire Emblem.
SPEAKER_03At least you're not living on the toilet.
SPEAKER_01Right? Like when I played uh Echoes on the 3DS.
SPEAKER_03Yes. There we go. I was gonna take a sip of my drink.
SPEAKER_01I know. Um it's it's great. Like I'm I at first was having a very hard time with it because they would not fucking shut up and they would just talk and talk, and now I'm like, I don't know, 12, 13 hours in, and they still talk a lot, but it's a lot more manageable than it was when I started it. Um we met up with Will and uh Nick from Friday Night Games. We did what was it two weeks ago? Last week. Last week?
SPEAKER_03Last week, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, last week. And Nick asked me what I thought of it, and I was like, I'm having a very hard time. I don't think I like it. And I can say no, I like it.
SPEAKER_03You just had to get over the hump.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that starting hump, which I hate that about video games, like getting into a game is such a pain in the ass, which is why I haven't started uh control or silent hill, and I've been dreading playing Fire Emblem, which now I'm into. Um, I'm also playing Onimusha still. I put in a couple hours yesterday, and oh yeah, I forgot about that one. It's so good, it's it's a lot better because I got past the opening few hours. The boss fights in Onimusha, it's crazy, like crazy good boss fights. They test your skill. It's not like Dark Souls remember the pattern. If you die, it's your fault because you didn't remember the pattern. It's cut your teeth on this fight, parry, evade, do the counters correctly. It it is very, very good. I'm really enjoying it. Like the the enemies you find around the fight and around the world, uh, they're kind of not amazing, but boss fights peak amazing, so good. Very nice, so good. Onimusha, it's pretty good. Umusha. Other than that, I've just been playing stuff that I'm gonna cover later on in the show this week. Hopefully, I get to record with Eric so we can release the Kingdom Hearts episode. Um, so if it happens, you'll be listening to it on Friday.
SPEAKER_03When are you recording?
SPEAKER_01Tuesday night.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Tuesday night.
SPEAKER_03When we're supposed to be packing.
SPEAKER_01Yes, Eric. Eric said, I'm good this day. Let's do it. And I'm like, let's do it. But if you can't, don't feel stressed like you have to, because it's really not important. It's just for fun.
SPEAKER_03And you have other things that you can do if if he can't.
SPEAKER_01Probably not.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't matter. Again, it doesn't matter, it's for fun. And it's not like we're being paid to cover Kingdom Hearts. It's a game that's been out a long time. 20 years. 20 years. I I bought Kingdom Hearts. You people are gonna hear this all over again on Friday. Uh, I bought Kingdom Hearts for the Game Boy Advance when it released, I think it was in 2004, Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories.
SPEAKER_03Oh my, my dear. That was 22 years ago.
SPEAKER_01Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories release date. That is November 11th, 2004. Okay.
SPEAKER_03The day before your 12th. Well, I try I trust these people. They yeah. No, don't tell them how old I was. They don't they don't have to know the year. But you know what's really upsetting? Sorry, side note. My current students weren't born yet for another four years.
SPEAKER_01A lot of our conversations, you and I's conversations, somehow end up on remember when we did this, Strider wasn't even born yet.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're at that age where we're like super old and comparing everything younger than us.
SPEAKER_01Remember I told everybody on whatnot last night I'm 57?
SPEAKER_03Yes. And somebody was like, what the fuck? Some there are people out there that believe you and still think you're 57. Wow.
SPEAKER_01I look like shit then.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you look great for 57. I only have one patch of gray. Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_01So, anyways, um, I I don't even know how I got the money for it. All I know is that I was hanging out with my cousin Andy. Which is weird because Andy is Have I met Andy? He's the one with the green eyes.
SPEAKER_03Oh, at the party.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03At the farm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he kind of looks like a monkey with green eyes. I can say that because he's my cousin.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sorry. Um, yeah, that one little line of your family has the green eyes, and it it's a little a bunch of brown, brown people with green eyes. They look like they're wearing contacts. Yeah, it's super weird.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So Andy's like 15. No, he he's like 13 or 14 years older than me. I was 14 and for some reason we were hanging out together.
SPEAKER_03That's a little weird.
SPEAKER_01I don't know why. I know there was like a party that we were going to that night. A family party. Um, and that side of the family's Christian, they're super religious, so no.
SPEAKER_03Are you sure he wasn't babysitting you?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Sort of. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he probably was.
SPEAKER_01I was 14. I I don't know. At that time, I was staying home by myself. I was staying home by myself since I was like 11.
SPEAKER_03Maybe maybe he just needed to be your transportation to the party.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Ah, it doesn't matter. We're getting hung up on the details here.
SPEAKER_01I don't know how I got the money for the game. I don't know why I was hanging out with.
SPEAKER_03You you got it, you were hanging out. End of story.
SPEAKER_01I don't know why I was hanging out with Andy. All I know is that we went to the outlet mall in Puerto Rico, which is like two hours away from where I live.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_01But somehow it was like 14 to 15 minutes away from the place that we were going to for that party. And it was Christmas time, and Andy's like, I'm gonna go to the outlets. Let's I'm gonna get some Christmas shopping now. I was like, cool. So I found find out that there's a game stop. For some reason, I have $40 in my pocket. The new Kingdom Hearts.
SPEAKER_03Your allowance for the day, that's what you were supposed to eat on.
SPEAKER_01I don't think so.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm I'm making it up as I go here, okay?
SPEAKER_01Um, so I have $40 in my pocket. I see a the Kingdom Hearts game at that GameStop, and I bought it. And we went to the party. I think we I stayed at the party for like 10 minutes before my parents are like, let's go. Oh. We were like two hours away from the house. It's like 10 at night. I'm surprised you went in. No, right? Um, they were there already when Andy and I got there. Which is weird. I I don't know what the hell was happening, anyways. Um, I remember sitting at the front steps of the house where the party was at, opening the box, like looking at the game, looking at the manual, being like, oh my god, this is so cool. Kingdom Hearts on the Game Boy. I've I I'm so excited, I want to play this. We got in the car, we went home. I think I got up to my room and I was gonna play it, but I was so tired. So tired. Just went to sleep.
SPEAKER_03You couldn't play it on the way home? You didn't have a Game Boy with you. Learn your lesson, didn't you?
SPEAKER_01That's why I carry my Switch.
SPEAKER_03That's why my why I carry my books with me everywhere. You never know.
SPEAKER_01You never know where I'm gonna run into Kingdom Hearts for the Game Boy Advance. Exactly. Yeah, so I'm sorry you guys are gonna hear this again on Friday.
SPEAKER_02Skip.
SPEAKER_01Um, I don't remember playing it at all, like even starting it. I remember playing it at school. I remember a kid stole it from me, and then I found out he stole it from me. And he beat him up. Yeah. Oh yeah, it got violent real quick.
SPEAKER_03Um you were bigger than him, weren't you?
SPEAKER_01Uh yes.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_01You're bigger than almost everybody. Yeah. Actually, remember that kid that I told you about that we called Pateke?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. It was him. It was Pateke!
SPEAKER_01He stole it from me.
SPEAKER_03He stole that's why he's called Pateke.
SPEAKER_01He stole it from my book bag.
SPEAKER_03Oh dear.
SPEAKER_01And like I'm looking for it frantically. I'm like, I can't find my game, and Horace, like, Pateke took it. That sucks. And then we're like walking, and we see Pateke with a Game Boy playing Kingdom Hearts, and he's in the same world where I was.
SPEAKER_03No last time. Oh, fucking Pateke.
SPEAKER_01And I I had put some time into it. I was like 15 hours into it. And we're like, where did you get that? He's like, I bought it. Like, what? It's like, I bought it this morning.
SPEAKER_03Uh huh.
SPEAKER_01And this morning, where are you? And he tells him the name of the world, and he's like, You're fucking lying. Fucking Pateke.
SPEAKER_03Oh dear. Oh, Pateke. Yeah. He's probably telling that same story, like in a sobby way right now. Watching have a podcast. Like, man, I was so poor, and I just wanted to play Kingdom Hearts and this asshole. What's your nickname in this story?
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_03That's like the equivalent of Pateke, but for you.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Maybe he calls you Pateke.
SPEAKER_01No, no. You never know. Pateke was pretty widely known. Gave him that nickname. And uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03You were a bully for Pateke.
SPEAKER_01To some people. Oh god. To people that deserved it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you steal Kingdom Hearts, you get bullied.
SPEAKER_01No, not really. Like, I want it to have nothing to do with you know how I am with people. Like, I want to have nothing to do with them.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I know. My my darling husband. I I do know you.
SPEAKER_01Pateke was one of them. Like, I don't want to have anything, just leave me alone.
SPEAKER_03Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Just leave me alone. And sad part is I called him Peteca, and somehow I caught on. Spread like wildfire throughout the school. His grandmother came in a couple of times to the school to ask the classmates not to call him Peteke.
SPEAKER_03That's terrible. We're gonna lose our whole listening base. I know it's awful. Oh my god. I'm sorry, y'all. I was not bullying I was bullied.
SPEAKER_01So Pete.
SPEAKER_03You probably would have been really mean to me in school.
SPEAKER_01No, not at all. Not I didn't.
SPEAKER_03You were never mean the girls.
SPEAKER_01I was never mean to anyone. I didn't talk to anybody. Because he was annoying.
SPEAKER_03He was matched on to you.
SPEAKER_01Literally. He would climb on my fucking shoulders.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yes, to look at what I was doing.
SPEAKER_03It was You know who that sounds like?
SPEAKER_01Who?
SPEAKER_03Jackson.
SPEAKER_01Do I have climbable shoulders? I guess so.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm too chunky. I haven't tried.
SPEAKER_01But like, okay, so a pateque is like this little sticky green stuff that some plants have that stick on to stuck to your clothes. Yes. And when you pop them open, there's like a little C. It's the way that they spread themselves or whatever. So if you would walk through a field in Puerto Rico and you come out the other side, your your pant legs and your shoes are covered in patecas. So because they're so sticky, that's why we called him patecas, because he would climb on your shoulders to look at what you were doing, and you would feel him breathing heavily onto the back of your head.
SPEAKER_03Oh god. I'm picturing it. You're making me laugh.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes I'm like, I feel bad for that poor kid, but goddamn. I think he's in church.
SPEAKER_03Okay, anyway, we've gone down a rabbit hole here. He's doing great. Let's come back. We have Pokemon cards to open. That's true. That's how I'm gonna bring us back. Stop talking about Pateka.
SPEAKER_01Stop. Pateke. I'm sorry for all the harm. I'll be right back. And all the bad stuff that I did, but you were really fucking annoying. Um yeah. Probably you probably weren't as annoying as I thought you were. I was probably just a moody teenager. Which could be true.
SPEAKER_03He's a moody grown-up.
SPEAKER_01I am a moody grown-up. The only people I like are Carden and the dogs, and the dogs are not people. So oh, and the dogs are running out following the wife of out of the room. Um, this whole thing of talking by myself while Carden's not here is really not fun. Can you hurry up, please? I'm coming. She's coming. Um I think they love me more than they love you. Of course they love you more than they love me. You gave them food. So what is this?
SPEAKER_03Um, so at Dragon Con, one of our favorite or our favorite food plays in the food court was giving out Pokemon card packs. Random well, not randomly. I think it was if you spent more than $20, and all the food at the Dragon Con food card is super expensive. All I got was a bon me and a boba. Well, no, that was not the bon me day. It was a rice bowl day and boba. That was more than 20 bucks. So I got a free pack of Pokemon cards. I have no idea what the hell that is. Do you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so this is a booster pack. Uh the series is Snow Hazard.
SPEAKER_03Snow Hazard.
SPEAKER_01Snow Hazard, Scarlet and Violet. So I I think it's a slightly older pack, but not crazy old. Um, it's shh featuring uh I got that pack when I got the free tiny dick. The free tiny dick. Uh it's Japanese and it comes with five cards in it. Do you want to do the honors or do you want me to do it?
SPEAKER_03I'll do the honors and I'll hand them to you for you to tell the group what they are. Oh. Because I don't know what they are.
SPEAKER_01Because I don't know. I don't know Japanese, so I don't know. You might recognize something. Uh I I recognize chat hot in the front of the pack, but that's about it.
SPEAKER_03I can't get it. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Oh, there you go. So God, we we should get Does this sound bother Will? I'd let it bother him. I feel like I feel like Will would. Of bullied Pateka into oblivion. The stuff Will sends me is kind of concerning sometimes.
SPEAKER_03That's true.
SPEAKER_01He does send you some refund.
SPEAKER_03Oh, this looks like Inoske.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Oh, that's uh Primeape.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01Primeape.
SPEAKER_03This looks like Shiny from Moana.
SPEAKER_01Uh I think that's a Bombasnell. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03This looks like Wednesday Adams.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Uh that is the Gothita, I think that's her name. It's little goth uh Pokemon.
SPEAKER_03This looks like a Nido and a penguin had a baby.
SPEAKER_01A Nito and a penguin.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01I don't know this one. This is the penguin with the ice block on its head.
SPEAKER_03This looks like something I would probably read in a book and then say, hear me out.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Why?
SPEAKER_03Well, he reminds me a little bit of the beast.
SPEAKER_01Let me let me get a I don't know the name of it. It's a giant dog with smoke coming out of its mouth.
SPEAKER_03But he he looks kind of like a woolly mammoth dog. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01It's a dog.
SPEAKER_03It's a dog. It's a dog. Yeah, I feel weird saying that.
SPEAKER_01Mabo stiff.
SPEAKER_03If he were two-legged, two if he if he walks on his hind leg, I don't know. I'm just gonna shut it.
SPEAKER_01Four-legged.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Freak Pokemon cards. Yay!
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Going in the pile of the oh dear.
SPEAKER_03What fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, I have a game that I need to talk to. Need to about talk about. Because I need to do some coverage for this game.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um, I wanted to do coffee and handhelds today. We didn't have the time. Right now, if we drink coffee, we're gonna shit our brains out all night.
SPEAKER_03And not sleep because wired.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, but uh I've been playing Alien Breed 35th Anniversary Edition. I got a uh preview key for the game, and this thing is awesome. So Alien Breed 35th Anniversary Edition is a collection of iconic franchise of the iconic franchise, originally created by Team 17 for Commodore's Amiga platform in the 90s, spawning six games in its first era. This release marks the first time these foundational titles will be made available together as a definitive curated collection to download to own on modern PC and console systems. And uh the download to own part of it is very important, and I'll tell you why. And that is because nowadays everybody tells you if you buy a digital copy, you're only buying a license that's gonna let you play the game for as long as we feel like it. So the download to own is great because I pay for it, I download it, it's mine. So I should own this game for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_03The whole thing is just so wild to me. So wild. Like it never occurred to me that like I could download books to my Kindle and not like own them, you know. Like I know that's not you know what I'm saying? Like, if that were a thing with Kindle or digital books.
SPEAKER_01I mean it kind of is for the library books, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I can't imagine like paying for one and it being treated that way. You know how pissed I would be.
SPEAKER_01And Sony did it bad uh a little while ago because they went into people's PlayStation's account and removed all of the movies that people had paid for.
SPEAKER_03Nah, fam.
SPEAKER_01That that is fucked up.
SPEAKER_03Nope.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so the the download to own part of this is great. I think that is that is very cool that they're doing it this way. So if the download to own is true, I should have this game forever as long as I have an Xbox account. This specific Xbox account where I redeemed it on.
SPEAKER_03So it's Alien Breed, not Alien.
SPEAKER_01Alien Breed. Okay. Um, if you look at the alien it kind of looks like a Cenomorph, but color only. Uh the shape of it, it's not really a Cenomorph. So uh the Alien Breed 35th Anniversary Collection will feature fully emulated versions of every Alien Breed title created for the Commodore Amiga computer series. So it'll have Alien Breed from 91, Alien Breed Special Edition 1992, Alien Breed 2, the Horror Continues, 1993, so it has the EC, ECS and the AGA versions included of Alien Breed 2, Alien Breed Tower Assault from 1994, and it has the Amiga and CD32 versions included. Alien Breed 3D from 95 with the CD32 version, Alien Breed 2, 3D 2, the Killing Grounds from 1996. It also has in universe digital archives where players can step inside an immersive in universe digital archive space station packed with developer interviews, never before seen design documents, unreleased content, and brand new game modes. So it also has a couple of modern features. Modern features updated with the original soul allow players to experience the original Commodore Amiga formats, supplemented by feature enhancements, including enhanced modern mechanics. So you can play with dual sticks, so you move with the left and you shoot with the right, which I was having a tough time when I started it, and then I decided to try to see if the stick would let me at least aim so I can shoot better. And it starts shooting. I'm like, oh, this is so much better. Uh it has couch and online co-op, uh, peer-to-peer online play in supporting titles, uh, new universe challenges, entirely new gameplay modes, and tactical challenges built specifically for this anniversary collection. So, if you want to get into Alien Breed, um, I've always been interested in checking this out. I had I've I'd seen it. Um, I'd never really heard people talk about it. I've never really seen anybody play it. I always thought the name and the cover art looked cool. Look at the cover art right there. Um I I always thought it looked cool. Like maybe there It's freaky.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, I was muted.
SPEAKER_01If you were muted. Sorry. Um, like I thought that it would have something to do with alien and aliens.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It does have something to do with aliens, but it's not those aliens. Not xenomorphs from aliens, not xenomorphs. Um, so these are the first few games, uh, Alien Breed 1991 through Alien Breed Tower Assault are top-down kind of mace shooters where you're walking through a mace, aliens are coming at you, and you have to solve certain puzzles with keys and stuff so that you can complete certain objectives to continue. Um, Alien Breed 1991 is fine. Alien Breed Special Edition is a whole lot better. It is night and day, how much different they are. Um, because in the first one, it's kind of like really open-ended, like you have a huge area to explore, and then in special edition, they kind of like compacted it, made it more real, I guess. Like you start off by docking into the ship, and in the first one, when you dock in, there's a bunch of whole other docks that you can walk through instead of just one specific dock that takes you inside the ship. From there, you have to collect key cards to open certain doors, but there's also a very limited amount of key cards, so if you open the wrong doors, you're kind of fucked, so you have to start the stage all over again. So it kind of gives that gameplay of you need to uh be either smart with your usage or learn exactly where you need to open what, which is kind of what I did. I would just figure it out. If it didn't work out, then I would just load an earlier save because the cool thing is the game lets you save whenever you want. You get that option of just open up menu, save, continue, and load and continue. So that's pretty cool. I I played a little bit of Alien Breed 2, the horror continues. It was a little bit better. Alien Breed Special Edition, more it's cool. Uh Tower Assault was very difficult. You start on a planet, and everything in the planet hurts you. Oh, there's mines all over the place that you can barely see. There's scorpions, there's I think lizards that hurt you, and then you get to set certain areas where there's turrets that are shooting at you, and you keep dying and dying and dying. Um, I had a rough time with Tower Assault, but then Alien Breed 3 and uh 3D and Alien Breed 3D 2 were really, really fucking cool. So those are kind of like Doom clones, they kind of look like Doom, but with the aliens from Alien Breed, and uh it does the cool thing where you kill the alien, the alien you see the body on the floor, and as you're exploring, getting keys, opening shit. It's really cool. Um the second one, Alien Breed 3D 2, uh, had these giant mechs that you have to kill when you kill them, then you can keep exploring the whole area. And that one was really big, so it kind of overwhelmed me. And I was like, no, I'm going back to the original, and I kept playing 3D. And I only I I I only played it for a little bit because I had to play it on the TV, and my TV is what, 65 inches?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's massive.
SPEAKER_01And I have to sit really close to it because I don't have a lot of space in this room. Um, so I I get motion sickness really easily when I play boomer shooters like that.
SPEAKER_03Sounds like me. Um except with everything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I I think this is a very good collection. The download to own thing is really cool. Alien breed is it's a lot of fun. Um it's retro arcade-y twin stick shoot-em up, somewhat horror-ish, adjacent. Um, so this was a really cool get. I'm really happy that I got this. I I played it a a while. I'm gonna probably play some more of it. It's a really good waste some time kind of game because you know it's it's almost run-based where you go in and you do as much as you can before you die. Um, this one has safe features so you can continue on and on and on. So, but yeah, I I highly recommend the Alien Breed 35th Anniversary Collection. You get a whole lot of games for a decent price, and uh they're all yours to own. I love that. So yeah. Um, you had anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to do?
SPEAKER_03Was there anything should we talk about the events we've had recently and where we're going next?
SPEAKER_01Talk about Dragon Con.
SPEAKER_03Or Dragon Con? Oh boy, let me scroll back to my pictures. I took a Dragon Con to jog my memory. Um, so Dragon Con obviously is Labor Day weekend, always. Um, this year was a little bit different for me because I went with my friend Kelly and her daughter. Um, her teenage daughter. Whoo! Teenage daughter! Oh man. Uh, so different experience for me, very different in that um, oh dear, you would yell at me if I were the one doing that.
SPEAKER_01Keep going.
SPEAKER_03Very different experience for me because they had never been before. So I did a lot of different stuff that I normally wouldn't have done. Um, like we went to like the penis kilts. Oh my god. We fell asleep, remember? We didn't go. Uh we uh we went to the opening ceremonies, which I've never done before.
SPEAKER_01What is that?
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's literally just a panel where like the CEO of Dragon Con gets up and talks and is like telling people about the history of the con and things like that.
SPEAKER_01The CEO of Dragon Con?
SPEAKER_03Well, I don't know that that's his actual title.
SPEAKER_01Is it a wizard?
SPEAKER_03He was wearing a kilt.
SPEAKER_01Did he look like a wizard?
SPEAKER_03He looked a lot like Gildroy Lockhart.
SPEAKER_01I have no idea what that is.
SPEAKER_03Um, Kenneth Brunal with long hair. Even less.
SPEAKER_01Oh. No idea.
SPEAKER_03Kenneth Brunag is the bad guy in that fucking movie you made me go see that I hated, and I almost went and sat out in the lobby. Tennet?
SPEAKER_01Tennet?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's the bad guy. The husband.
SPEAKER_01I don't remember. Oh god. Tennet was great. I don't remember that part.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, so I did a lot of stuff that I normally wouldn't do. I skipped a good bit of my Lord of the Rings panels that I would normally go to, but I actually left early from one of them just because I fucking love them. Do not get me wrong, nothing has changed. But um, did I talk about how I audited that class last semester? I can't remember if I've talked about that. So so much of what was discussed is stuff I literally just discussed in class. Like it's all way too fresh, and I just didn't really want to listen to the same repetitive stuff again. Um, so recent, you know. Like I'm I'm fine with talking other, you know, the subject matter is not gonna change that much because there's not much new other than the rings of power. Um, but it was like literally the exact same conversations we had in class, and like, uh I don't want to talk about this right now or listen to it talked about right now. Um, but I did do the one ring.net's panel, which I always love, and I got a really cool button um that I found out about on their YouTube live. Uh it's uh Denethor, and it says Boromir would not have cancelled Stephen Colbert. Um I saw some really awesome cosplays. One of my favorites was wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_01There's a little bit to unpack. So, who's Trump in that case? Ooh. Right?
SPEAKER_03Hold on. Okay, so Denethor is telling Faramir. Denethor is kind of accusing Faramir of canceling Stephen Colbert, but we know Faramir didn't actually do it because Denethor is always accusing Faramir of everything that goes wrong. So, does that mean Donnie is Sauron or is he the pink orc?
SPEAKER_01The pink orc.
SPEAKER_03The deformed, bubbly pink orc. Yeah, that makes so much sense. And um uh Vladimir Putin is Sauron.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03Okay, okay. One of my favorite cosplays I saw the first day, it was a guy dressed up as Jesus, walking around carrying a sign that said Pops. I said Donnie, not Dolly. That was wonderful. That was very recent, too, right? Wonderful. Uh yes, actually, I think she died that week, if I remember correctly. Um lots of fun dick experiences. Um, burger champ will appreciate this. We saw a guy cosplayed as the Morning Glory Milking Farm. He was dressed up as a cow. He was carrying like a big jug that had Morning Glory Milk Farm written on it. It was great. Um, I did a Twilight panel, which was super fun, gabbing with a bunch of millennials about how much Twilight meant to us. And it was in a tiny room. They did not prepare for all of the Twyhards, and people had to sit outside and wait. And like they were even letting people come in, even with like 10 minutes left of the panel because I've been sitting outside waiting, hoping to get in. It was insane.
SPEAKER_02Damn.
SPEAKER_03Insane. Um, so I also did three panels that I never, ever, ever would have considered doing if not for the fact that I was there with my friend and her kid. So her kid is obsessed with Epic the Musical. Oh my fucking god.
SPEAKER_01What is Epic the Musical?
SPEAKER_03I will tell you what Epic the Musical is. So it was like in some obscure room that I've never gone to before on the bottom floor of one of these damn hotels. And I'm like, it's a it's an Epic the Musical sing-along, okay? I'm thinking there can't be that many people there. Oh my god, the line was wrapped all around that damn floor of the building. It's like shit, I don't think we're gonna get in. We got there an hour beforehand. We were some of the last people to squeeze into this tiny ass room. It's a fucking like the Odyssey musical for teeny bop girls. Honey, the music is abysmal, and everybody in that room was so into it and just screaming, and like this one couple was cosplaying as Odysseus and Penelope, and they asked if they could act out this one song, and so they played that song at the very end, and they went up to the front of the room and they acted it out, and then like people were just losing their minds. I'm like, this is not what I signed up for. So, so not for me, so not for me. Um, another panel that I did with them that I would not have done. Um, we went to a panel discussing the Odyssey and all of the adaptations because you know that is very relevant right now, with the Odyssey having just come out. Well, it came out a bit before Dragon Con, but still, whatever. Anyway. I've never you know what I mean, you asshole. Ugh.
SPEAKER_01Maybe that's why Pateka climbed all over me.
SPEAKER_03I've never actually read The Odyssey. I went back to my Goodreads and realized I read the Iliad in college and I fucking hated it.
SPEAKER_01Um you know what's crazy to me?
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_01That The Odyssey was written by Homer Simpson.
SPEAKER_03My god. Anyway.
SPEAKER_01I I'm pulling out all the jokes that I've been saving for months.
SPEAKER_03I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion of the Odyssey, and I screamed when one of the ladies said that her favorite adaptation is Oh brother, where art thou? I was like, Yes! And that lady also said that she hated Epic the Musical. I was like, oh thank God, because that was rough that sing-along. Rough, rough, rough, rough, rough. Um, and that kind of inspired me to try to read the Odyssey. So I put it on hold on Libby. It's available now, but I ain't ready yet, so I suspended my hold, which means I can just borrow it whenever I'm ready. Um yeah, so I did that. Something I never would have done, but the most thing I wouldn't have done was I let Kelly convince me to go to a panel on the Mandela effect. And then that's all I can think about all fucking weekend.
SPEAKER_01You learned that word?
SPEAKER_03I knew what the Mandela effect was, but you learned it's not something I thought about.
SPEAKER_01That word.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god. Everything that weekend was the Mandela effect.
SPEAKER_01Everything, everything, everything, even for a few days after.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. I went hard down the rabbit hole, like, oh my god, what if this didn't actually happen that way?
SPEAKER_01So that uh fruit of the loom.
SPEAKER_03What if you and I didn't actually spend that second evening together the way that we remember we did?
SPEAKER_01So does the Monopoly guy have a He does not have a monocle.
SPEAKER_03Mind fucking blown.
SPEAKER_01Does the fruit of the loom it's not in the cornucopia?
SPEAKER_03Mind fucking fucking. Yeah. And um yeah, well, I knew this one, but I remembered being like appalled when we sat down and did our watch through during COVID that he doesn't say Luke, I am your father. I kept waiting for it. I'm like, wait, what? Huh? Uh-uh. Very confused. And how does an entire country remember their leader dying in prison when he didn't?
SPEAKER_01Hold up, hold up. Fuck, there was another one that I was gonna say and I completely forgot. Because she wouldn't stop saying how. Um I I there's a theory about why Mandela effects are a thing. And I believe it. I 100% believe it. Okay. The theory it's not my theory, it's a theory a lot of people have. Uh when CERN turned on the Super Collider, it combined two universes. It combined our universe with the neighboring universe where things are slightly different, and that's why there's so many different Mandela effects where people are like, What? This is not how it used to be.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Because like they had a neuroscientist on the panel, and everything he said made a lot of sense. Like they were making the argument that you know, like culture affects it. But I'm like I I feel like a cornucopia is not that widely used or recognized or thought of thing. Like I obviously we know what it is, but I don't think that's something that I would have like you know, does that am I making any sense at all? I'm not being very articulate right now. I just have a hard time thinking that I imagined a cornucopia.
SPEAKER_01A cornucopia.
SPEAKER_03Why would I imagine a fucking cornucopia? The monocle makes a little bit more sense because I think about Mr. Peanut and how he and Mr. Monopoly are a little kind of similar in their vibe.
SPEAKER_01They're the same kind of sexy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Too sexy for their monocles. Oh dear. But the cornucopia and the whole fucking Barenstein bear thing. I had to Google it while we were sitting there. Kelly watched me Google it and she laughed at me and she's like yeah I had to Google it too like what the fuck there's there's a lot of them.
SPEAKER_01Um let's see uh Nelson Mandela's death obviously uh JIF JI F instead of Jiffy Looney Tunes being Looney tunes T-O-O-N-S instead of Looney T-U-N-E-S. I thought it was T-O-O-N-S.
SPEAKER_03I thought it was T-O-O-N-S for a long time I think until adulthood.
SPEAKER_01Berstein or bear stein uh Curious George having a tail curious George doesn't have a tail what sex and the city sex in the city that that's but I feel like that's just like a slip of the tongue Fabrizio with one E or two E's two it has one E. Nah no it doesn't you thought it was Fabriz with two E's then she are you shitting me Oscar Meyer being Mayor M-E-Y-E-R instead of M-A-Y-E-R uh Sketchers with a T. It's Skechers without the T.
SPEAKER_03Are you fucking kidding me?
SPEAKER_01Fruit loops being F-R-O-O-T L-O-O-P-S instead of fruit L O O P S It's it's F-R-O-O? F-R-O-O-N-O-K-S making me mad it's not Monopoly Man of Demon Pikachu's tail without the black part at the end um I I don't know that I've got Kit Kat I knew Kit Kat was one hyphen Kit Kat Kit hyphen cat it doesn't have a hyphen oh uh the fruit of the loom with the cornucopia which is super fucking weird I remember I remember I saw the cornucopia like I feel like that's how I know what a cornucopia is when I was a little kid and I had Spider-Man underwear they were fruit of the loom and they specifically had a cornucopia because I remember telling somebody either my grandparents or my mother that oh look that's one of those horns like in the underwear but did your brain just make up that memory to justify your thinking that it was a cornucopia nope nope uh seepio silver leg he does have a silver leg uh I swear I've never noticed it like I know that he lost he lost a leg right I I don't remember the flint the flint stones having a T Flint stones it is flint stones right flint stones okay yeah I know I knew that uh let's see life was like a box of chocolates never know what you're gonna get uh if you listen closely he says life was like a box of chocolates uh I feel like they're pulling at straws there yeah let's see let's move on Luke I am your father yeah that one I am your father no Luke uh let's see run you fools was that a thing fly you fools it's fly you fools yeah uh let's see uh anything else Lucy you have some splain in to do yeah is that not what he said uh Ricardo's famous catchphrase on I love Lucy was actually never said what he really said was splain that if you can or Lucy splain explain that what yeah I I I swear I heard an audio clip of him saying Lucy you got some splaining to do or maybe it was from Family Guy I don't know maybe found it Simbad playing the genie yeah right there's a movie named Kassam yeah no shassam yeah the movie called Shasam with Sinbad as the genie and then there's another movie called Kassam with Shaquille O'Neal as a genie Shassam I'm I'm pretty sure I'm from the universe where both existed if the universe thing is true oh my god so it it is Sinbad right it's Sinbad yeah and Sinbad said that he never was in a movie so I don't know if he's pulling shit or or what wait like hold on the what the movie actually exists or it doesn't exist it it's a universe according to the internet right now it doesn't exist what yeah I watched that movie with Simbad yes and the kid yeah what no Shassamad movie no no no what the fuck a 1990s movie called Shassam starting the comedian seeing bad as a genie does not actually exist no I'm 100% sure it exists no what there's same they're not even okay Shassam and Sinbad are vastly different looking people I get that they're both black men but they're nowhere near the same shade of black sinbad is like lighter than you know he he's almost yeah he's he's slightly lighter than me and I am nowhere near as black as shass as Shaq no somebody's fucking lying show me Shaq as Shazam oh my god you're gonna make me look up Shaq as Shazam yes it's Sam I am baffled right now no that's not that's not the movie right no but I know there's this movie and I know the one with Sin see there it is it's a thing Shazam it's real I saw that movie I know I did we are from the universe where Shasam and Kassam exist.
SPEAKER_03Is that why we're soulmates maybe oh that explains why some people really hate each other are you fucking kidding me no I'm serious I am 100% serious and if you ask Sinbad Sinbad will say no I would do that would probably fucking hate us right now Willis having the worst time of his life right now being like did I really wait this long for this shit of a podcast to come back sorry anyway so what else happened uh my mind was blown oh there was this really cool thing at the evening in Brie um these people did a cosplay of um worm tongue thaodon and Gandalf in the scene where Gandalf cast Saruman out of Thaedon um it was great that came out everything was normal and um worm tongue was acting like he was gonna hurt Gandalf and he like throws off his robe and he's in his tidy whities and then Thaedin comes out of his craziness and he's in his tidy whiteys and then worm tongue strips and it's actually he's actually dressed up as the scarecrow and he even rips off his pants and he's wearing like a little G string and over his pee pee he has um worm written and on the back of the undies tongue um that was really really wonderful I have it all laid out in photos here that you can't see um I made the mistake of suggesting that we go to the secret food court and I was like I'm gonna get curry and the guy was like spicy or not spicy and I was like give me spicy I couldn't eat it it was so fucking spicy um yeah I don't remember that there was anything else wild that I felt the need to report you're still thinking about Shassam yeah I'm a little shook it there were so many cool Project Hail Mary cosplays at Dragon Con this year it was great but I was convinced there's always one thing that like takes over the cosplay for the year so last year it was K-pop demon hunters year before year before it was Barbie right no it was um wait last year it was k-pop demon hunters last no yes last year was k-pop demon expedition 33 and k-pop demon hunters what's expedition 33 the French people with the baguettes and k-pop demon hunters k-pop demon hunters were more than expedition 33 I don't I don't think so whatever anyway this year I was convinced it was gonna be Project Hail Mary there was a lot of Project Hail Mary but guess who was at Dragon Con? Matt fucking deniman so every fucking person and their kid was dungeon crawler carl it took me 24 hours to realize that they were dungeon crawler carl because I've yet to read it he was everywhere didn't you say that at the photo up for Dungeon Crawler Carl there were more than 600 Carls Jesus fucking Christ they were everywhere everywhere you looked if if you were standing in one spot at any point you could rotate and see a Carl at every point in your turn like if you were to play a drinking game of spot the carl how long do you think it died how long do you think it would take for you to die 24 hours.
SPEAKER_01No how how long do you think it would have taken you to die five hours Jesus Christ dead so Dragon Con was fun yeah it was just dungeon crawler carl fun uh con dungeon crawler carl fun con okay anything else you want to talk about we went to North Carolina last week that was fun we saw Texas this week we saw Will and Nick we said that already we had sushi we ate we drank tea we took no garbage photos what else we had great Mediterranean food for lunch while we were at the festival we we went to a place called Yamas I went to a place called Yamas and brought us food I I think uh Kava doesn't hold candle to it like Kava's nowhere near as it was great it was so good they had their own like homemade pickled onions and everything and that that was fantastic.
SPEAKER_03Maybe we'll remember to take pictures and talk about stuff we eat in Texas. My aunt's like we're gonna do so much stuff I'm like we're not gonna have time what time is the the the floor close I gotta look like Saturday is going to be so late I don't think we're gonna be able to do anything afterwards. It's normally like eight or nine on Saturday I'll look but I don't I don't remember okay that'll be interesting.
SPEAKER_01So yeah we're going to Texas this uh week so hopefully by the time you're listening to Kingdom Hearts we're at Texas already selling shit. Yes send good vibes no no no by the time you're listening to Kingdom Hearts it it have won't even have started because it starts like at two on Friday yeah oh boy it's been crazy little bit of time since you were on last yeah a little bit a little bit uh oh I forgot to tell him that I finally watched practical magic oh my god it's a witchy movie from the 90s that I'd never seen it's wonderful it was really good is it I thoroughly enjoyed it yes I'll try to be better prepared next time recording what do you mean I'll have more to say they they expect you to be just this pretty face dressed like Tina that's not funny it costs like Tina Belcher today next dragon con you can wear that Tina Belcher likes my little pony porn zombies that like to touch butts I like to touch butts yours zombies you won't let me no no that there's there's there's bad stuff in there oh god that's my evil container okay your toxic waste my toxic waste I saw your toxic waste on the bookshelf oh god I want some toxic waste containers are just empty containers that oh my god you have a problem they look cool do they yeah they look cool they're you say so little toxic waste containers so you say so all right anything else you want to talk about before we call it no uh but yeah that's it uh thanks for being here yeah thank you everybody who listens thank you everybody who supports us on Patreon thank you everybody who sold me games at console and stuff at gbo.com um we appreciate and love all of you and uh that's it for this week do you want to say goodbye to everyone carry everyone goodbye everyone